Doom and gloom and dark despair, People dying everywhere!

It's whiteknucklejoes birthday!

He deserves the dirge:

Happy Birthday! thud! Happy Birthday! thud!
So you've aged another year
Now you know that Death is near
Children dying far and near
They say that cancer's caused by beer
Death, destruction, and despair
People dying everywhere
Now that you're the age you are
Your demise cannot be far
Happy Birthday! thud! Happy Birthday! thud!